Advice from Uncle David

Dear Uncle David,

I like a guy at my school and he seems to like me, too. We do a lot of things together. Unfortunately, whenever we go somewhere, he doesn’t have much money so I have to pay for his Starbucks or McDonald’s. He said his parents don’t give him much of an allowance. I don’t mean to complain, but I don’t get much allowance, either. How can I get him to pay his fair share?

Dear Poor in Pendik,

I'm sorry that to say that either your "boyfriend" has been using you this whole time or he may be from a really poor family. If he seems to be a nice guy but you end up paying all the time, dump him. It will be hard for you to stop liking him, but there are so many other nice guys out there. If money is such a big barrier, do activities that don't require as much money. Go out for a picnic, download movies and watch it at your/his house, do something more social and productive, play board games. Be creative! There's so much more to life then going to Starbucks and movies.

Sincerely,
Uncle David
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Dear Uncle David,

I have many close friends in my school. We all have unlocked lockers in our PE locker room. My friends feel quite comfortable to take things from my locker—my school uniform shirt, my coat, my deodorant—and use them. I don’t mind, but I wish they would put the things back where they found them. I have received two discipline slips because I cannot find my uniform shirt. What can I do to get them to respect my property and my need for “boundaries?”

Dear Frustrated in Ferikoy,

I understand what you are going through. It may have made more sense for me since our school was smaller, but in your case, when everyone in the locker room is there, tell them that they should ask before taking your property. Try to ask them how it would feel if you had taken something from their lockers without permission. You could start borrowing your friends clothes and stuff and see how they all like it.Slowly they will realize that they too don't like this and change. If not, I have ask your teachers or the school board to make lockers that have locks on them, since from doing all this now will be a terrible habit later on in life.

Sincerely,
Unlce David
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Dear Uncle David,

I recently moved to Turkey. I feel isolated because there are few American families here, and I do not speak Turkish. I home-school my kids, so we don’t have many opportunities to meet other foreigners. It has been five months, and I still can't get over the culture shock. I spend my days cooped up with my kids, unable to do the simplest things. I can't seem to live up to my husband's expectations, and he has become quite critical. This is hurting our marriage. Please help me before I go crazy.

Dear Sufferer,

You are not alone. There are countless people suffering from this same problem. But all you need to know is that you need to get on with life. All this culture shock may be hard to get over, but you just need to grit your teeth and act on whatever you may need and help you. You might want to talk to your husband about what you are going through or else he'll be confused, putting your marriage more in danger. Try to be more outgoing, making more friends and finding people to talk about your problems. If you have told your husband, try to work with him to get over this together. Your husband may be right, so just try to listen what he's telling you and what you should be doing.